It’s kind of early in the day for this, honey, I say to Dana.
Ahhhh, she says.
Wish you were on the road with these people? I say innocently.
She laughs harshly and says, I think I’ve had enough travel for one lifetime.
Obviously she remembers the time we were running all over the country, fleeing from a violent religious cult. While we were parked at a mall I happened to check under the hood for something and found sticks of dynamite wired to the starter.
Wistfully I say, These people…this mass exodus from whatever…reminds me of…something…Paul Simon…
America is the name of the song, Fanci, Dana says.
The part about counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike. Look at all this traffic, Cupcake, I say. All headed the same place. Nowhere.
Staying home for a holiday is one of the best things in life, Dana says. Know what the best is? Our sex life.
I feel myself blush furiously.
You’re so cute when you blush, Fanci, Dana says. You sure blushed last night.
Hmmm, I say. Last night I was blushing all over.
Dana blushes and we giggle and laugh and high five each other like high school best friends. This is how great it is between us when it’s good. And it seems that it’s only this good just before something happens.
It used to tear me up inside when Dana went trolling, even when she took me along. When I was a man, that is. But now i’m okay with it and it mainly worries me because of the trouble she gets into sometimes when she does it. I finally understood that I had a bad case of vagina envy. Now that i’m a woman I feel like i’m Dana’s equal.
How envious I was of Dana! Of her face, legs, tits, clothes, how she looked in a skirt and heels. Now I can sit and cross my legs and show them off like she does, so i’m happy.
I really like this place we’re going to, Dana says.
Yes. I just found it the other day. There was this cute little brunette I almost went home with. Turned out she was underage though.
What was she doing in a bar if she was underage?
DK. Not my bar.
We park in a gravel lot and walk to the door in the glaring heat. I take off my sunglasses but it takes a while for my eyes to get used to the dark. The dance music hurts my ears. This isn’t a non smoking bar. It stinks of smoke. But I guess a bar ought to smell like that. It must be happy hour, judging by how many people are here.
How long were you here before you met the little underage sweetheart? I ask Dana.
A couple of hours, she says. I was ready to give up and go home and there she was.
We get drinks and sit in a booth. We are not here five minutes before a girl comes over and asks, May I join you?
I look at Dana and she looks at me and we both laugh.
Did I say something funny? The girl says defensively.
No, honey, I say. We were just talking about how dead this place can be. Now look at it. Please, sit down.
In the half light she looks stunning. Just the kind of pretty brunette Dana and I are always hot for.
My name’s Erin but they call me Fanci, I say. This is my husband Dana.
Husband? RU two married?
Yes but we’re both open, I say.
This state doesn’t recognize same sex marriage, she says.
That’s tough, I say. We were married in a state that does. Sweetie, what is your name?
Oh, she says, flustered. Sorry. I’m Neely.
Well, Neely, would you like to get to know us better or would you prefer some conversation first? Dana says.
Dana can be a bit heavy handed, I say smoothly. What she means is that we both like you and we don’t have to sit here fencing unless you just want to.
I didn’t exactly expect this, Neely says.
I think, This is a lesbian bar, Neely. Surely you expected something. And you came to us, not the other way around.
Neely hesitates and says, I like you guys too. Maybe we could go…
Neely, you come with us, Dana says. Be our guest.
Well, okay, sure, Neely says.
You have a car, dear? Dana says. It’s not far…