I wont bore you with the preliminaries; there weren’t many. We made passionate love and now hold each other in the king size bed by a window with a spectacular view of the lake in the woods.
Fanci, she says to me, You really needed some lovin, didn’t you?
Oh, honey, yes, I say, and sob.
What’s wrong, sweetie?
I’m alright, I say. I just…was lonely and you were here and I think i’m happy enough to cry.
I didn’t hurt you…
No, no. You were perfect. Just perfect and I love you…and I sob again. Don’t mind me, I say. Forget I said that.
I don’t want to forget it, she says.
From one standpoint she’s a vicious, predatory lesbian who took advantage of a lonely woman separated from her husband. She doesn’t even know i’m les or that my marriage is.
I flutter my lashes again and take her hand and say, Love me again, Trudi. And she does.
Do you want to talk about it? She says later.
No, I say. This is too perfect. I don’t want to ruin it.
I push my hair out of my eyes and say, Do you know who I am?
You did the lipstick ad, she says.
Oh, Lord, I say. That damn ad.
When I first saw you, you looked familiar, Trudi says. Then I recognized you from the ad and the article about you in Vogue. You were the first star transgender model in the world. When I remembered that’s when I kissed you.
I was afraid you’d get away, honey, and I didn’t want you to. Your husband’s a woman, right?
Yes. Can I stay here tonight?
You can stay here as long as you want, Fanci. I want to make you feel special.
I gently touch the scarf that she ties her hair back with. I love this. It’s really cute. I ought to do my hair this way.
What were you thinking just now? She says.
Some really silly chickie things about you.
You’ll think I…
I was thinking how great it would have been. If I’d been born the gender I should’ve been and we were next door neighbors as children and best friends forever. We would’ve played hopscotch or whatever little girls do. Then we could’ve gone to college together and…and brought each other out, you know? Been lovers. Maybe married.
Then I sigh and my eyes turn inward to an impoverished soul and face the fact of a mortal loss.
Don’t be sad, she says, and licks my breasts.