Sealed With a Kiss 18

Post coital conversations are like nothing else.  Things get said that will never be anywhere else.  But it’s not like this with Ginnie.  WTF does someone like me say to a girl like Virginia, anyway?

Getting cured of cancer was not fun at all, but that’s what i expected.  It’s gone now and that’s what matters.  Ginnie and i have been drinking champagne and eating from room service trays and we have been naked for the last two weeks.  And she has fucked me enough times that my sex drive is about down to normal.  Time for some rational thoughts, at least from me.  I’m still not sure what i feel about all this.  We have just made love and she has crawled next to me and i have pulled the covers over both of us as we hold each other.  In 30 seconds she’ll be asleep.  I wish i could sleep like that.

This is arguably the best hotel on Cumberland Island.  In the late TwenCen this island had no bridge from the mainland, just a ferry.  To book just a day to backpack and camp here you had to get on a waiting list and it could be months and there were strict rules about your behavior and what was allowed here.  There was great pressure from economic interests to build a bridge and open the island for development but the locals fought valiantly for decades and successfully kept them out.  I’ve seen pictures and home movies of this place from that time and i can understand why they fought.  It didnt work but they tried.  Now the beach would look like Waikiki except that it is so flat.

It’s mid morning and time for my walk.  I shower and shave and put on swimming trunks and an open button shirt and training shoes.  I go down the stairs and out the back way past palmetto and scrub palm and pine out to the beach.  It’s September and tourist season is over.  There’s no amount of money you could give so i’d swim in that water.  You see, this beach sucks.  It sucks all the way down and past Jacksonville.

Now it’s low tide and you can see the sand bar that runs from the the edge of the water out about fifty yards.  If you know it you can walk out that far and stand in the middle of all that water.  Kids do it all the time but to me it’s suicide, even if you have a watch and know when the tide changes.

Some years back a couple of the little bastards walked out there and got trapped when the tide came in early.  They would have drowned if the lifeguard hadnt seen them.  The currents here are monstrous and on that day were so strong the lifeguard couldnt get them right back to the beach.  He had to take them back at an angle and ended up miles down the coast on the beach of a private island.  But they survived.

This is the back way to the library.  I’ve been coming here for an hour or so most days but today i’m ready for serious and detailed study.  In particular films of times in the 1960s.  Events in that decade sprouted more timelines that i would have thought possible.  The outcome of a football game is nothing in the scheme of things yet changing the outcome of one made the difference between the extinction  of the human race from a nuclear war and the apparent golden age that i and everyone else is enjoying right now.

You’d have to be insane to want to change anything in the past now, yet…sometimes there is a moral imperative that makes doing the right thing more important even than survival.  As i think these thoughts that make no sense i wonder if i have already lost my mind.  But i at least have to know some things.  I button my shirt and go inside to look at old videos.  One of Lyndon Johnson signing the Civil Rights Act, another of something a few years before.  I guess i’m trying to persuade myself to do something i’ve already made up my mind to do.



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