Bessie and Me

Us ol’ boys get lonely too

And when all those painted women just wont do

I go to my cow Bessie grazin’ in the barn

Stepped behind her and dropped my pants, didnt see no harm

Bessie kept on grazin’ and i never felt so good

 

Some bastard bureaucrat come around today

He’s mad and says they’ll come take Bessie away

I said it aint yore business ’bout Bessie

She’s mine and she loves me

You dont say nothin that aint a goddamn lie

You better leave before your balls are a bow tie

 

Bullshit is all over my face

Bullshit is all over my place

Bullshit and i’ll make ’em pay

Cause i’m gonna die of somethin’ anyway

 

I went to see old Bessie one last time

Said by god they’ll wont never take what’s mine

Made love to her again, dont remember when

I saw this kind of sunshine

 

There’s bullshit here but Bessie is my cow

All their bullshit dont matter no how

Of all the females Bessie’s my favorite

And my cow just died and i dont need no bullshit

 

Homeboy Security is beating down my door

Guess they want the .22 hidden underneath the floor

But my hand wont waver on the detonator to this keg of dynamite

I’ll blow ’em all to hell and me into that holy light

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

What?  Where am i?  What is this place…Bessie?  Is that you? 

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In this place they wont give us no bullshit

 

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3 thoughts on “Bessie and Me

    • It’s supposed to be funny with a touch of sadness and pathos. I got the idea from a client of mine who was unsocialized and preferred the company of livestock. I doubt the cow even noticed. Happy Easter, Jen.

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