Ode to the Beast

Here’s the Scrotum of the opera
Disguised as Jean Valjean
The boxcar he came outta
Spews X Rays on the lawn

The power of Christ compels him
To keep an eye on the Holy Land
In case things there go sour
Things you’d never understand

He says there’s no future
Just a soiled and ruptured past
The present is unsure
And we aren’t meant to last

That drowsy beast is slouching
But the Scrotum’s in the gym
So the beast turns left at Chunking
Away from Bethlehem

Author’s note: For the inspiration for the last verse I am indebted to WB Yeats’ 1919 poem “The Second Coming.”

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The Lizard

I’m talking to a lizard

Who dont know what she is

She thinks that she’s a wizard

Because of her relatives

The Earth is flat she says to me

And it’s gonna end next week

You’ll be struck dead over by that tree

There goes your lucky streak

Her friends come walking over

Here’s the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Einstein runs for cover

They all think he’s to blame

Now they’re busy hanging Darwin

Cain and Abel pull the rope

It’s Ezra Pound’s last bargain

T. S. Eliot’s smoking dope

They take away my codeine

And tell me i’m gonna hang

For being an old dope fiend

Before the church bells rang

I just did get away in time

With the help of Stagger Lee

Got my ticket and i’m line

The Titanic sails at three

The Zombies of Austin

In Austin there are zombies

That roam the fields at night

They eat up big salamis

And shoot up out of sight

 

In the park they got needles

Somebody’s used before

With microscopic evils

You dont see anymore

 

The whores down from Columbus

Service the walking dead

A zombie’s an encumbrance

But the hookers give them head

 

In the moonlight there is thunder

Megatons from space

Administrative blunder

A nuclear embrace

 

Mushrooms bloom in Austin

Detonation was at five

The zombies are lost when

The narks are burned alive

 

In Austin there is fallout

Radiation boils the ground

And the nuclear police are out

But no zombies are around