The Lizard

I’m talking to a lizard

Who dont know what she is

She thinks that she’s a wizard

Because of her relatives

The Earth is flat she says to me

And it’s gonna end next week

You’ll be struck dead over by that tree

There goes your lucky streak

Her friends come walking over

Here’s the Hunchback of Notre Dame

Einstein runs for cover

They all think he’s to blame

Now they’re busy hanging Darwin

Cain and Abel pull the rope

It’s Ezra Pound’s last bargain

T. S. Eliot’s smoking dope

They take away my codeine

And tell me i’m gonna hang

For being an old dope fiend

Before the church bells rang

I just did get away in time

With the help of Stagger Lee

Got my ticket and i’m line

The Titanic sails at three

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The Earth is Flat in Indiana

Not too long ago I was talking to a friend of mine and .somehow we got onto the subject of science.  After a little pause he said to me that he’d found somebody who believed the Earth was flat.

You must mean a creationist who believes the Earth is 5,000 years old, i say.

No!  He says emphatically.  This guy believes the Earth is flat!

Was he just pulling your appendage?

No, he says, shaking his head.  This guy believes it because the world looks flat so it must be flat.  I just didnt know what to say to that.

Was he psychotic?

Not as far as I know.

Then dont engage him, I say.  The more attention he gets the worse he’ll get.

I promptly forgot about it until weeks later when someone else told me he knew a guy in his home town who seemed otherwise normal except he was convinced the world was flat, and there was a government conspiracy to cover it up.  Here are two people who dont know each other who have independently surmised that the Earth is flat.  I dont know if this a sign of the times or a commentary on how poor the education in this state is or what.  I just dont know.

Sometimes I listen to conversations going on behind me in the checkout line.  After hearing one I decided to never listen again.  This one may not seem as egregious as the flat earth but it is bad enough.

One of these hayseeds behind me said he wouldnt drink milk from the stores because he was worried it was spoiled and he might get food poisoning.  So he decided he was only going to drink milk right out of the cow because it was safer.  After all, he went on, there is “too much government inspection,” which, according to him, is the real problem.

Just in case nobody knows it, when milk comes out of the cow it is at its most dangerous.  Tuberculosis, Listeriosis, Salmonella, E. Coli, just to name a few.  That’s why they pasteurize it.  Heating milk below boiling for about half an hour kills all the bugs just waiting to maybe kill you.  Such things I learned in grade school so I guess I’m being naive about what adults should know.  At least here in what they call Kentuckiana.

And I dont know what else to say.  Sometimes I have to get on here and bitch and blow off steam when these things get to me.

Good Day.

Waiting Room

Pregnant women and fucked up men

The waiting room is full again

Every day, every hour

I want to go home and take a shower

 

Psychopath and Borderline

End of day or end of time

Piss and Prolixin, Seroquil

They’ll be here with me until

 

One of them gasps and one of them dies

One of them moves, one of them cries

And I see the door and see the path

So I can go home and take a bath