Bessie and Me

Us ol’ boys get lonely too

And when all those painted women just wont do

I go to my cow Bessie grazin’ in the barn

Stepped behind her and dropped my pants, didnt see no harm

Bessie kept on grazin’ and i never felt so good

 

Some bastard bureaucrat come around today

He’s mad and says they’ll come take Bessie away

I said it aint yore business ’bout Bessie

She’s mine and she loves me

You dont say nothin that aint a goddamn lie

You better leave before your balls are a bow tie

 

Bullshit is all over my face

Bullshit is all over my place

Bullshit and i’ll make ’em pay

Cause i’m gonna die of somethin’ anyway

 

I went to see old Bessie one last time

Said by god they’ll wont never take what’s mine

Made love to her again, dont remember when

I saw this kind of sunshine

 

There’s bullshit here but Bessie is my cow

All their bullshit dont matter no how

Of all the females Bessie’s my favorite

And my cow just died and i dont need no bullshit

 

Homeboy Security is beating down my door

Guess they want the .22 hidden underneath the floor

But my hand wont waver on the detonator to this keg of dynamite

I’ll blow ’em all to hell and me into that holy light

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

 

What?  Where am i?  What is this place…Bessie?  Is that you? 

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

In this place they wont give us no bullshit

 

The Zombies of Austin

In Austin there are zombies

That roam the fields at night

They eat up big salamis

And shoot up out of sight

 

In the park they got needles

Somebody’s used before

With microscopic evils

You dont see anymore

 

The whores down from Columbus

Service the walking dead

A zombie’s an encumbrance

But the hookers give them head

 

In the moonlight there is thunder

Megatons from space

Administrative blunder

A nuclear embrace

 

Mushrooms bloom in Austin

Detonation was at five

The zombies are lost when

The narks are burned alive

 

In Austin there is fallout

Radiation boils the ground

And the nuclear police are out

But no zombies are around

 

 

 

 

 

Roswell

I found out yesterday that as of tomorrow Netflix will no longer have Roswell or The X Files.  These are two reasons i got and kept Netflix even though things i took for granted there are always disappearing, such as The Silence of the Lamb, which they had for years.  I guess they’re trying to make way for more of their own productions, which is too bad because most of them are not even watchable.

But this is about Roswell, not Netflix.  Writing my version of this story is the most formidable challenge as a writer i’ve had for a while.  I realized soon that if i didnt trim the material down i would end up with something like War and Peace.  After cutting down the material in this story i knew that more would have to go or i’d end up with something like a James Clavell novel, which is still thick enough to stop a .45 caliber ACP slug.

So i learned to cut more and still maintain the integrity of the story.  By that time i hit a major logjam and spent weeks deciding how to proceed given that at this point late in the first season everything changes and a slew of characters come in and the old ones begin to change.  What has been emerging is a moody, surrealistic story like the original Destiny Road (2009).  And i really like how i managed to redefine Max and Liz, the core of the entire story.  Max emerged as a cranky, moody alien who is so stressed he’s always close to the edge but who never falls off.  And i managed to give Liz a kind of maturity and character she never had in the TV show.

I was going to open the next chapter with a fine metaphor-“The cast iron wind is a dirge screeched by a choir of lepers draped in rags.”  I’ll save that one for some other story.  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading these as much as i have writing them.  The tv show is far richer and more complex than it appears if you just watch it.  I’ve learned to love the show even more than i did, and respect what everyone involved with it was trying to do.

Maybe it’ll come back to Netflix.  But it probably wont for a while.