I’m an old man and this is a lonesome place
Be with me if U would if U can
And let’s embrace
A night’s a terrible thing to waste
Je t’aimerais
To this winter day should I compare thee?
Such a night could not be frigid enough
A frozen time in a frozen sea
Your face looks icy and our skin feels tough
aujourd’hui et demain
Come with me and my love be
For my love 4U is a red, red rose
Be here at daybreak and hold me
I’ll hear your warm heartbeat close
et toujour. Tiens!
You were tall, hair black as midnight
When we kissed in Autumn twilight
And dead leaves danced in the cold
When we were just eight years old
Let me come home I beg of U
It’s my only thing to do
Let me reclaim myself, my life
Even where U hide that butcher knife
Come to me in sleep, my love
Your knife poised in eternity’s glove
Send me away for all my sins
Make this where my story ends
Take that blade and run me thru
Bring out all the best in U
Send me home for all my sins
Make this where my story ends
At the Crashdown Maria is setting a basin of dirty dishes on a counter top when she sees a guy with a bouquet of flowers motioning to her.
I got a delivery for one of the waitresses, he says.
Really? Maria says, gushing in spite of herself. Is it for me?
Parker, the delivery man says. Liz Parker.
Maria says, Oh I’ll take those, as she grabs at the flowers.
You’re Liz Parker? He says skeptically.
What’s the matter? Maria says. Dont I look like a girl who gets flowers?
Your name tag says Maria.
Give me the flowers, she says as she extracts them from his grasp. And no tip for you!
He gives her a poisonous look before he slouches away.
Hey, Gidget, Maria says to Liz. U got some flowers from Moon Doggy.
Maria sets the flowers down and Liz starts to open the envelope to see the card inside but Maria is looking rudely over her shoulder.
Dont, Maria, Liz laughs.
Liz sees something written on the card but it isnt Max’s handwriting. It’s printed in block capitals and says: Meet me at Chow’s in an hour. Come alone.
Liz is troubled about this. She can see Max sending her flowers but not quite this way. The writing is definitely not his. Maybe for some reason the florist wrote on the card for Max. And she is uneasy because of the state of flux everything is in right now. But this sounds urgent. And there’s the admonition to come alone. Somehow that is not reassuring.
He wants me to meet him at Chow’s in an hour, Liz tells Maria. Chow’s is where we had our first date. Max just gets more wonderful every day!
Mr. Wonderful, Maria sighs hatefully under her breath.
In an hour Liz is at Chow’s, dressed to the nines.
Hello, Liz says to the girl. She guides Liz to a seat with a great view of an aquarium full of tropical fish. And she has a view of the front door so she can see Mr. Wonderful himself come in.
Before Liz can see her, Suzanne Topolsky sits down heavily on the seat facing her. Topolsky’s blonde hair is tucked beneath a curly Bob Dylan wig. Topolsky’s eyes are hooded and bloodshot, her demeanor that of a trapped, cornered animal. Half resigned and half truculent, like someone about to be executed. She continues to scan the room like they taught her at Quantico. Her conspiratorial aspect wavering on the psychotic.
Dont look around, Topolsky says. Smile like you’re happy to see me. Stay focused, Liz. It’s the only way we can all make it out of this alive.
Why RU following me? Liz says.
You can ask questions all night or U can listen 2 me. Maybe you’ll save all our lives. You’re smart. And I know U can keep a secret.
In spite of herself Topolsky moves her head casually and scans the room. She says, I dont think they know I’m here.
Who is they, Liz says angrily.
The people I work for.
Yeah, yeah. The FBI.
It’s more complicated than that, Topolsky says in a whisper. Her face is a study in unfettered agitation. She turns around and sees a man in a suit with sunglasses on even though it’s dark.
I’ve learned, Liz. I have seen things that no one would believe. I can hardly believe them myself.
Where have you been all this time? Liz demands.
In hell. And I’ve come up and out to warn U. There is a hunter. An alien hunter. He’s part of a special branch within the FBI. Even the president is need-to-know. U understand what I’m saying? This hunter answers 2 no one. He’s different from the others. He’s smarter, more obsessed, more relentless. And he will stop at nothing to get what he is looking for.
Who or what is he looking for?
Max Evans. And anyone the hunter thinks is involved with him. All six of your names are on that list. You have to believe me, Liz!
I believe U, Liz says softly.
Topolsky looks back at the man in the suit and sunglasses and sees that two more thugs have joined him.
We cant be seen together, Liz! U understand? Tomorrow night meet me in the alley in back of the theater downtown. Be there at eight o’clock. I’ve got to go.
And with that Topolsky rises and hurries toward the kitchen so she can leave by the back door and get away from the men.
At the Crashdown.
What doesnt kill us waits for another chance…Black Earth Rising
MAX
Buckley point is curiously deserted, maybe because of the time of year and the raw, soggy weather. Dew falling. Waxing moon reclining among the damp stars. Making out with Liz until I am so frustrated I want to scream. She senses this and says, RU ready, Freddy?
Here? I say. I’m not some slut.
You’re my slut, she says, sliding her skinny ass over until she is astride me here in the car.
I say, Did U…RU…
Yes I am on the pill! I told U that. Have a little faith.
Have your way with me then, I groan.
I am unzipping myself when a gnarly apparition with a flashlight starts beating at the window and I think, We are both so fucked. We are busted. It’s the cops. They’ll never let us out this time.
But it’s not a cop. It’s a face with matted blond hair that says, You’re all in danger. All of U!
WTFRU talking about? I yell back at her and then I recognize the hated face of Agent Suzanne Topolsky of the FBI.
She looks around herself, seeming to be on the verge of panic. She giggles hysterically and smacks her lips and says, The best way to protect yourselves is to act like normal kids.
We are normal kids, I reply stolidly.
I think I was followed, she says, on the verge of a hysterical sob.
How the fuck did you know we were here? I demand. Did you follow us up here?
I think I was followed, she says, nodding to herself.
How did you get here? I say.
She is acting like someone who is either drunk or under extreme duress. I cant tell which because the window’s shut and I cant smell her breath.
Trust no 1, she says. I will find U again.
And with that she peels off and melts into the seething night. And I cant understand how she knew to find us here, since no one knew we’d be here; Liz and I didnt know ourselves until we decided to come here and just got in the car and left. She mustve followed us here and decided to make contact. Which means she would have had to have a car and that when we got off the highway onto the dark side road she turned off her lights. Followed us from Roswell but I never saw the car. And I never bothered to even make a casual check for surveillance. That complacency ends right now.
I am so rattled I forget to knock at the door to Michael’s apartment. I just unlock it and walk in with Liz and Isabel. Michael and Maria look like they were about to do the deed right there on the couch when he gets up off her and gasps, What RU doing here?
Topolsky’s back, Izzie says.
I cant help feeling a mean satisfaction that I am not the only one tonight who was interrupted.
She practically attacked us up at Buckley’s point, Liz says.
What were U2 doing at Buckley’s point?
Admiring the view, I say.
Everyone laughs nervously.
She said we were in danger. All of us. And just to act normal until she contacts us again.
I know I forgot to lock up when Alex walks right in and slams the door.
Just come in and make yourself at home, Michael says to Alex. Everyone else does.
Alex pauses before he says, Does that mean alien normal or pretend we’re not the subjects of a manhunt normal?
Michael says, This is all wrong. It’s a setup.
No, Michael, Liz says. She was really scared. I believe her.
Alex says, I hate to remind U of this but you believed her the last time.
You have a point, Michael, I say. Both times she used this same stereotyped, deliberate penetration approach. She could have made contact with us in any number of covert ways. Why do it the way she did? To stir things up and see if she could shake something loose?
Hey, Max, Alex says sardonically. Where would you be if Liz and I hadnt stuck our necks out? You didnt expose her, we did.
Furiously I walk up to him and stick my face right in his and say, RU flexing on me, boy?
Stop it, both of you, Izzie says sharply and pulls me away from Alex. This could be exactly what she wants, getting us to turn on each other.
I walk away and look out the grimy window at the weary night street, half expecting to see a guy in a JC Penny suit trying hard not to be conspicuous.
Are U really, really convinced she was there to warn us, Liz? Alex says.
Well, she…she really wasnt like the same person at all, Liz says carefully. The way she was talking. She wasnt the same smug, condescending bitch we all hated and feared. She seemed as scared for herself as us.
They prob’ly give em acting lessons at Quantico, Michael murmurs.
Alex says, I say we listen.
Yeah? And I say we dont! Michael cries angrily. This is just a new tactic. She scares us, makes us think we need her help and all we’re doing is admitting what we are. Alright? I dont trust her and none of us should.
Whether we trust her or not it wouldnt hurt to take her advice. Nobody uses the word alien and we dont talk about any of this in public. Anybody could be watching. The sky has a thousand eyes and the walls have ears. And here is the safest place to hide this, I say, handing Michael the artifact or communicator or whatever it is that Liz and I dug up in the desert close to the ’47 crash site.
I cant believe she’s back, Maria says, rubbing a spot on her neck that will be a big hickey tomorrow. I thought this was all over with.
Michael pulls Maria to him and holds her and I do the same with Liz, closing my eyes and thinking none of this will ever be over with.
MAX
I knock quietly at Isabel’s motel room door. Michael opens the door and I say, How’s it going?
Maria’s asleep but she’s been crying her eyes out all night about Liz. Other than that everything’s wonderful.
I need the diamond, I say.
Maximus, I told you that man scared the shit out of me. There’s someone rich and powerful out there who wants us to stay away.
I’ll be careful, I say.
No!
Michael, I am in no mood. Just give me the fucking diamond. You know I’d do it 4U.
If Isabel asks U, tell her you came in here and found it yourself.
Michael reaches under the sofa cushion and pulls out the diamond and hands it to me.
Maria has risen from an uneasy slumber and stares at me without fondness.
How could you make Liz hold the gun? Maria says to me.
There was no gun!
U just used her, Maria says. That’s all you’ve done from the start. You knew when you made her hold the gun they’d put her away for that.
THERE WAS NO GUN, Goddamnit! I shout. No video surveillance of a gun. No video surveillance of us at all. And no gun was ever produced.
You dont care about Liz, Maria says. You never did. You just used her. I’ve been crying all night. How could U do it? She’s going away for years because of you!
I dont see U helping, Maria! Crying all night doesnt accomplish anything. How dare U tell me I just used Liz. I’ve been out trying to get her out of jail while you’ve been here snivelling. If you’d been out helping me you might have a right to criticize but you havent. It’s always me that’s had to carry the load. Always me that had to clean up everybody else’s messes.
I hate you! She snaps.
I dont care.
I really hate you, Max.
I DONT CARE! I snarl at her. You’ve always been just one step above trailer park trash. How did Liz ever wind up with a BFF like U?
Shut up, Max! Michael says.
Stay out of this, Michael. Look, if U2 arent going to come along and help me then STFU and stay out of my way!
Maria opens her mouth to say something but thinks better of it.
I leave the room and close the door softly.
The exit is at the other end of the hall and I walk toward it feeling, angry, haunted, hurt, guilty, scared. As I am almost at the exit a door to a room opens and Isabel comes out, putting herself in front of the door but not before I see Jesse the lawyer getting dressed.
Hey, Izzie. Isnt their room down the hall?
I was visiting Maria, Izzie says.
In there? I say. U were in there with Maria?
Where RU going, she says, changing the subject.
My stuff’s in the trunk, I say.
Well, G’night, Izzie says.
Night, Izzie, i say as she walks down the hall to the room I’d just left.
So Izzy’s found a guy. And I think good for you, little sister. I often think Isabel has more class than any of us. Maybe that scares a lot of boys away, but those are the ones she doesnt need anyway. Jesse the lawyer would be a great catch for her. I always felt sorry for Isabel because she always seemed the odd one out. I had Liz. Michael had Maria. Izzie had nobody. But now she has Jesse, maybe. I hope so.
Outside in front of the motel in the breath of darkness. In the last few days I have learned to always be alert for surveillance, even when I cant see any. Sometimes it’s not there. Sometimes it’s there, laughing and seething in the shadows. Like right now. Oh, it’s there alright. All my unconscious alarms are screaming at me and I wonder if and when I’ll be attacked.
I have my hand on the door handle when a disembodied voice says, Max!
A man in a charcoal JC Penney suit flashes a gold shield at me and says, Special Agent Burns, FBI.
Hello, Agent Muldur, I say.
That’s Agent Burns, he says sternly. So. Why Sam’s quick stop?
I get into the car and say, My case has been dismissed.
By the sheriff’s office maybe. I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re just an incompetent criminal. But if you were in that store for any other reason be warned. If you dont stop you and your GF will not be happy juvenile delinquents.
I just love being threatened, I say. Especially by somebody hiding behind a badge.
Remember, Max. You’ve been warned.
Nice talking to you, Agent Muldur.
That’s agent Burns!
LIZ
Not trusting Philip, since he is Max’s lawyer, Liz’s parents get a hack lawyer.
Liz, the hack says, I’ve reviewed your case with your parents and my advice as your attorney is to make a deal.
What kind of deal? Liz sighs.
You’re a good kid, Liz, the hack says. Honor student, club activities. Maybe you just fell in with the wrong crowd. Met a guy with a problem. Maybe Max dragged U into this.
In other words, Liz says contemptuously, U want me to sell Max out.
He sold you out when he forced U to walk in holding that gun, Daddy says.
There was no gun, Liz says. Nothing was even stolen. A good lawyer could easily impeach the testimony of that crackpot of a store clerk. The DNA from those four hairs of mine in that store only establish that I may have been in that store, not when. The case should be laughed out of court. Besides, Max and I are in this together. If I sell him out we both go down. Thirty years of the hardest time you can do in Utah. We might never get out.
Let’s talk about the gun, the hack says. Did Max persuade you to hold it? How did you get it to begin with?
THERE WAS NO GUN!
You dont have to shout Liz, the hack says condescendingly.
They take Liz back to the cell where the walls reek with the odors of filth and terminal ills. Stains from rusted plumbing, from feces thrown by irate psychotic prisoners. A guard’s footsteps echo down the hall. When they stop at Liz’s cell she turns around and sees Max in a guard’s uniform.
He opens the door and whispers, Let’s go!
What? What RU…
Get up off your skinny little ass and let’s go! Somebody could walk thru here any minute!
Then what, Max? Be on the run for the rest of our lives? We’ll never be able to go home again.
That’s not as bad as it sounds, Duska.
I’m not willing to give up my home and my family.
You make me want to scream! Max whispers. If U stay in here they will bury you so deep for so long your parents will be dead before you ever get out. They may visit you in stir once every ten years if at all. You’ll become the dirty little secret no one in your family ever talks about. Your family are idiots. And they’re treacherous. They’ll sell you down the river so they can feel less guilty and put me away too. That’s what that cut-rate lawyer was for. You Earthlings have no honor!
No, Liz says. I wont leave.
I wish I could trade places, Max says, making no effort to hide his sorrow.
No, you dont want that, Max. We did this to find a way to get you home. You’re free! Go see if your ship works. C’mon, now. I dont want all this to be for nothing.
Liz, being a martyr does not become you at all. Being a martyr is one of the most unattractive things anyone can be.
I’m not being a martyr!
Get down off that cross right now and come with me if you ever want to see daylight again.
I’ll have to do my time, Max. U know it’s true.
Guilt trip, guilt trip, Max says to himself. This is a side of Liz he’s never seen before but he sure wont forget about it next time she uses this manipulative tactic. Obsessive, pathological guilt?
I have to do my time, Liz says. U know it’s true.
Liz, a thing can be true and still be the most heinous folly.
I’m staying!
Max glares at her and makes his alien eyes flare so bright green they illuminate the dim corridor and throw twisted shadows that could be those of monsters.
Alright, Liz, Max says. If this is so beneath you we’ll do it another way. There’s always another way. I just havent looked in the right place yet. But I will. U will never do any prison time. I promise.
RU promising me that because U love me, Max?
Yes but it’s about more than that.
Like what?
Honor. You Earthlings have no honor. See how you sell each other out? But you will not see the inside of a prison cell. On my word of honor.
When you lose someone
That you never really had
And that losing feels like
What it means to die…When You Want Something, Smoking Popes
MARIA AND LIZ
Maria pulls her mother’s car into the police station lot and parks next to a police car. Then she grabs the bag of food and slams the door shut.
Why cant these aliens get busted somewhere nice like Tahoe or New Orleans? But it’s Utah. Mountains and Mormons, she thinks as she walks to the door to the jail in back. When she realizes she has said this out loud she looks around in embarrassment but the parking lot is deserted.
Liz is lying on a filthy cot when they let Maria into her cell.
I cant believe you’re here, Liz says.
Who am I, Liz? Maria says. Of course I’m here. Where else would I be right now? Now give me some shugga!
They embrace and Maria says, First of all I have some Crashdown food for you. Alien green lime pie.
Maria, if you were a boy I’d…
Dont go there, girlfriend, Maria says. Alright. Now I talked to everyone involved and got the total, unadulterated straight shit on all this. The judge and DA in this town are sweating it because they have to go before the town council next month for reappointment. Trouble is they havent caught a criminal in like a decade. I guess there’s not much crime here. So they’re out to nail your asses.
Liz puts the food down and stops chewing while Maria is talking.
Maria says, OK that’s all I have. But I thought you said you and Max were going to take it slow…
ISABEL
Izzie sees Jesse alone in the lobby. She stops and says, So what were you and my father holding back from us?
What do U mean?
I saw the look between you two earlier. Clearly you are not telling us the whole story.
Last year there was a robbery in the county, Jesse says. A kid died. No one was ever charged and the local prosecutor is taking a lot of heat for it so this town is looking for someone to hang. Max and Liz picked the wrong place to play Bonnie and Clyde.
Jesse’s cell rings and he talks briefly and hangs up.
That was your Dad, Isabel. They found some evidence.
Isabel buries her face in her hands and thinks that this will never end. Even if Max and Liz get off, this insane search for home will destroy us all.
OUT ON THE STREET
On the sidewalk outside of the building that houses the courtroom Liz’s Mom and Dad and Max’s Mom stand talking with the county prosecutor, an oily, obsequious little man named MacGregor who is smitten with himself. In the narrow, pallid street with a mountain view he speaks with feigned warmth.
He says smoothly, That’s just the way things work here, Mrs. Parker. Your daughter will be fine.
Philip walks up to them scowling and the prosecutor offers him a warm, moist hand to shake and Philip wonders where that hand has been lately. Philip shakes it coldly.
Liz’s Dad says, Mr. MacGregor was just telling us about the Salina court system.
MacGregor excuses himself and walks slowly away. He turns his head and says, Your daughter deserves her best shot.
What was that about? Philip says. You know he just wants our kids in jail.
Liz’s Mom says, Mr. MacGregor just said Liz and Max would be better off pleading guilty.
MacGregor means he would be better off. He’s a prosecutor. It’s his job to get a guilty plea.
Liz’s Dad Jeff’s face turns an angry red and his blood pressure is climbing. He says, But MacGregor says that if they plead not guilty it would antagonize the judge and he’d have them tried in criminal court.
Jeff, your blood pressure, Mrs Parker cries. Did you take your pill this morning?
YES!
You dont have to shout!
Philip silently reflects that some people are just too fucking stupid to live. And how could these clueless fools ever make a girl like Liz?
Jeff, if we plead guilty to a felony then there’s a case against them in criminal court. We cant give him that option. He wants to bury them both so deep in prison they’ll never get out. Believe me. I know what I’m saying. That man U were talking to is a prick. A high-level Sociopath who will do anything he has to to get a guilty plea. If they plead guilty I guarantee they will tried in criminal court. Look, our children are in this together. And know this: I am doing right by your daughter.
In a courtroom Max and Liz sit side by side, holding hands under the table. Judge Beale struts in, his robe swirling fashionably around his feet.
Judge Beale is like a dry fart, Philip says to himself.
Max hopes desperately that the judge is not a closet Nazi who has a hidden Hitler tatoo and always has swastikas dancing in his head. Max is shaking so hard it’s all he can do to control it. Liz’s face is ashen.
Beale motions Max and Liz to stand up. When they do Beale asks pontifically, Do you both understand the nature of the charges against you?
Yes, your honor, Max says quietly.
Yes, your honor, Liz says in a small voice.
How do you plead?
Not guilty, Max says.
Not guilty, Liz says.
Have a seat then. Mr. Evans and Mr. MacGregor, I’ve reviewed the material you submitted…
Your honor, Philip says, Before you rule on this I have additional material that I feel is critical to this case.
Alright, let’s see it then, Mr. Evans.
Thank you your honor. These are Utah court rulings where DNA evidence could be suppressed. In consideration of the fact that four strands of hair are the only physical evidence in this case and there are no priors on either defendant who are both honor students I ask that this matter be dismissed.
Thank you Mr. Evans, Beale says stiffly. I’ll take that under advisement. Max Evans, it is the decision of this court that you be released to the custody of your parents and that you be returned to your home state of New Mexico if you agree not to return to the state of Utah until your 21st birthday. Do you agree to that?
Yes, your honor, Max says, stunned.
Very good. Elizabeth Parker, your voice and height match the description of the person with the firearm. Armed robbery is one of the ten crimes punishable under the Utah Serious Shooter Offender Act. Therefore it is my decision to transfer your case to the criminal court where you will be tried as an adult.
But your honor, Philip says, There was no gun found. The only mention of guns was from a store clerk with a well documented history of emotional instability…
I have made my decision, Mister Evans, Beale says coldly. This is for another court to consider.
Beale rises and everyone rises and sits down. A guard appears to take Liz back to her cell. No one else has moved. And to this black, viscous silence the pallid light from an obscure and spectral sun plays weary counterpoint. Everything in the room seems thick and cloying and choking. It’s just the devil laughing when something horrible transpires, something you long ago relegated to a barrel of things that were so terrible you just knew none of them would ever happen 2U.
Kafka marches on.
Michael hikes into the chapparal off the road where Max told him the diamond was. Thru the high blood weeds and wire grass and sacahuista. Thru and beyond arroyos where lie the petrified tracks of dragons. From the abcissa of a cliff a hawks sets forth, whistling thinly. A scene right out of Carlos Casteneda. Red susnset with doves crossing the road, heading toward some ranch tanks. Mauve and cobalt shadows slowly devouring the remains of the day. Suddenly Michael sees a dumpster in this wilderness where it doesnt belong and he stops short of it and right there at his feet is the diamond. As he picks it up he sees the back of a sleazy ass man smoking a cigar, a caricature of a private eye. The man begins to turn toward him and Michael hurriedly puts the diamond in his pocket. And Michael realizes that the prick has followed him all the way from Salina and he didnt notice him or his 15 year old Subaru because there was no reason to look for a tail.
When the man turns around he points a gun at Michael and pulls the hammer back. Michael freezes.
What RU doing out here? The man says.
Gathering my thoughts. Trying to figure out how I’m going to graduate from high school at the same time everone else does.
Why dont you just get a GED?
Because no one wants to hire somebody with a GED.
Hey, I got a GED and look at me. I’m doin’ fine.
Yeah, Michael says coldly. I can see you’re on a great career track there, Ace.
Hey!
Whatever, dude, Michael says dismissively.
The man loses his temper and fires the gun and the slug passes over Michael’s head so close he can feel the breeze in his hair.
Dont be such a smart-ass, the man says. Maybe that’s your problem in school. And hey-I got a message for your friend Max.
Yeah?
Yeah. Tell Max to stop lookin.’
Excuse me?
Tell him to stop lookin.’ The person I work for will do whatever is necessary to stop him. Whatever.
I’ll tell him, Michael says. And when I do I’m sure he’ll start shaking like a leaf.
Dont make me have to come back to Utah, the man says.
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